Does she bring you happiness, make you laugh?" Gideon had asked. When Caleb confessed that she did, his father then asked, "Do you like who you are when you are with her?" Again Caleb answered in the affirmative. He confessed she was not what he had planned, that at first she was just a case to solve.
Then his father said something Caleb couldn't get out of his head. "Our whole lives people try to tell us what beautiful is. As young boys we think we know exactly which women are the loveliest. Then we meet one who doesn't fit the mold and we know we were taught wrong our whole lives." While his pa talked, Caleb envisioned Em's freckled face. "Beauty is something we get to define. We may not see it right away, but when we do, we have trouble remembering the other definition. We wonder how we were ever to misled. All we can see is the one person who defines it for us."
Then his father put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't let anyone else decide which kind of beautiful is right for you. You find a girl who brings out the best in you. Who you can see a happy future with. That's your kind of beautiful.
He was too beautiful. Way more beautiful than me and way more beautiful than a beautiful woman. Have you met these men? His too beautiful voice and his beautiful hands and his beautiful cock. But the beauty went all haywire on the inside because he thought he was shit. And that thinking he was shit? It transformed him into the exact opposite of me - the most passive man on the planet. Particularly around any kind of high energy or conflict. Which was basically me, in the flesh.